What the experts are saying today...
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree to bash on that 1 expert who disagrees making it 9 out of 9 experts agreeing. It's win win people.
Submitted by: Nifmus
9 out of 10 experts ...
hate how the media go from a pack of wild dogs, mercilessly mocking and attacking everything a celebrity does when they're alive, then suddenly becoming a pack of fawning and adoring fans with nothing but words of admiration when Michael Jackson dies of a heart attack.
Yesterday the media painted him as a 'mentally defective lunatic, borderline pedophile, llama fetishist with an obession to be white and remodel his face to look like the love child of Kirk Douglas and a goat', but today Michael Jackson has died of a heartattack and suddenly BAM! he's "..a charitable, loving eccentric who cares for injured animals, while sharing his success with underprivileged children with selfless child-like joy, and an uber-dad with an unfortunate rare skin disorder who was much loved by Hollywood."
Fuck you, media whores, fuck you.
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree that "Twitter Facebook Twilight Robert Pattinson Earn Money in your Pyjamas Iran Chuck Norris YouTube Brangelina Steve Jobs Katie Holmes Obama iphone" will most likely be the name chosen for the new alt rock band formed by the creators of Google. The first single is predicted to be "Lady Gaga Stole My Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocon". The band name will change every Monday at approximately 4am PST to maintain its PageRank.
Microsoft has responded to this latest Google innovation with an application called "Anthem!". It will let users recreate the authentic live concert experience by playing Pink Floyd's "In the Flesh" which will end with the computer crashing with a BSOD and bursting into flames. The application will be a 4 GB mandatory update available early 2012.
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree that the Ab Blaster, Ab Swing, Ab Flex, Ab Disc, Ab Circle, Ab Bench, Ab Cruncher, Ab Inseminator, Ab Roter Rooter, Ab Pro with built in Deodouriser, Ab Master, Ab Master Pro Olsen Twins Signature Edition, Ab Extreme, Ab Extreme +1, The Ab Holy FUCK!, Ab Destroyer and Ab Turbo Mega Ab Abinator are 7 times more effective at burning fat and creating sexy, rock hard abs than being clinically dead*. You too can have abs like your favourite Hollywood** celebrities - GUARANTEED!***
(*Being clinically dead may actually result in better abs for up to 3 months from the onset of rigor mortis.
**Hollywood Province, Dakar, not Hollywood, California.
***This is not a guarantee.)
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree that the only people who should wear hookerheels are dead hookers.
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree you shouldn't merge personal beauty products and modern warfare...
9 out of 10 experts ...
know the secret ingredient in the nasal delivery erection dysfunction spray is horse pee.
9 out of 10 experts...
agree pseudo-working at the Head and Shoulders pseudo-laboratory is the best job in Pseudo-science.
9 out of 10 experts ...
think they have a chance with Sarah in Accounts, but that dick Brad in Marketing is always at her desk, talking about how he swam 40 laps before breakfast and only wears silk pyjamas because it feels better against his Egyptian bedsheets. So far 6 out of 10 experts agree that they should poison him. The other 3 experts need proof that the poison will kill him faster than "in just seven days" before they'll agree to it.
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree the Garnier Laboratory is just a High School lab compared to the Head and Shoulders Laboratory.
We got SEE-THROUGH CLIPBOARDS and TOUCHSCREEN WALLS, so EAT IT, NERDS.
9 out of 10 experts ...
reckon the guys in the L'Oreal Laboratory wear womens clothing and buttplugs under their labcoats.
9 out of 10 experts ...
agree that if enough people agree with something it makes it 'right' . And that's never turned out bad before, right?
9 out of 10 experts ...
know that Bill is only disagreeing with them because he really does think using an Apple Mac makes him 'different'. You're not, okay, Bill? Now join us or we'll stick you in a cage with the mutated rabbit from the '3 in 1 Anti-Dandruff/Cancer Cure/Anal Hair Growth Retarder' experiments.
9 out of 10 experts ...
admit they often invent clinical laboratory trials just so they can measure a naked womans ShowerGasm levels (that's the level of orgasm the women in shampoo ads fake when lathering their hair).